I Surrrender

I've been involved in coaching basketball for almost 10 seasons. As a head coach, one of the characteristics of the teams I have coached is that they have never been intimidated by another team and they've never given up. They always fight to the end. Not a bad quality to have for a basketball team.

It's probably an apt reflection of who I am as an individual. I tend to be somewhat hard-headed about certain things, especially things that I strongly believe in. I don't give up easily. Some of that is driven by an intense hatred of losing, which in turn is driven by my own past and some of the painful losses in life which I've experienced. I'll go to almost any length not to lose something that is precious to me.

However, that same strength--not giving up--can be a corresponding weakness when it comes to an individual's spiritual life. Paradoxically sometimes loss can actually be gain. Notice these words from Philippians 2:5,6: "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped..." (emphasis added.)

Honestly, as I assess my own life, I must admit that this verse seems strange to me, because for all the losses I've experienced, I want to grasp and hold on tightly to what I perceive to belong to me. I don't want to give up. I don't want to surrender. But Jesus "did not consider eqaulity with God something to be grasped..." That's mind-boggling to me.

As I was considering this verse this past week, and Chuck Swindoll's comments about it, he went further and suggested that we surrender in four areas: possessions, position, plans, and people. That hit me right between the eyes. For the past 12-15 months, God has been trying to help me learn to surrender these very things--my possessions, my position, my plans, and my people. However, instead of surrendering them, I've been holding on to them for all I'm worth. It's beginning to dawn on me that surrender is all about trust: Do I trust my possessions, position, plans, and people to bring fulfillment, or do I trust that God and God alone can fulfill me?

First, I have to acknowledge that in truth, none of these are really mine to begin with--they're simply gracious gifts given me by God. As such, God can choose to do with them what He pleases and what He sees will ultimately be best for me. Which leads me back to the question of trust: Do I really trust that God and God alone can fulfill me?

I sense this issue of surrender is going to be an ongoing one in my life. It's one that I'm going to have to address day-by-day and moment-by-moment. But I think I'm beginning to figure out that my ultimate joy in life is not going to come as I fight to hang on to what is important to me, but instead is going to come as I surrender. That goes against every natural inclination within me, but perhaps as you think about your own life, you'll sense God's call to join me as I surrender.

Color Me Yellow

Forgive me while I use my blog for a little therapy. A year ago today I was laying in a hospital bed getting prepped for cancer surgery. It's funny--not in a necessarily humorous way--how life can change so quickly. One day you're doing fine and the next day life throws you a curve that you never anticipated. I remember having a mixture of feelings last year. In some ways I was calm and figured I could handle whatever came my way thanks to the example of my wife who handled her breast cancer so wonderfully. But I also recall laying in bed wondering if I'd make it to the end of 2005. I'm not normally into bargaining with God, but I did ask Him if it would be all right if I could live long enough to see my granddaughter be born. I just didn't know what the future held at that moment and it was eery.

But in the midst on anxious feelings, God was at work to graciously bring some peace. My primary care doctor was out of town that weekend my cancer diagnosis came and a surgeon I didn't know was assigned to my case. I had hoped to have Beth's surgeon, Dr. Smith, do my surgery, but he had also been out of town that weekend and my surgery was scheduled for Monday at 1:00 p.m. The morning of my surgery, my doctor, Dr. Aikin, showed up early for rounds and he humorously chided me for being a difficult patient to diagnose. Then he told me that he had called Dr. Smith and Dr. Smith had cleared his schedule because he wanted to assist with my surgery. When I heard that, a sense of relief poured over me, because I knew I would be in good hands. What a wonderful answer to an unspoken prayer!

Just before I got wheeled into surgery, my brother-in-law came and prayed with me which was so encouraging because I knew his prayer represented a lot of prayers that were being prayed on my behalf. When Dr. Smith came by I couldn't even begin to express my gratitude to him for his gift to me of assisting with my surgery.

Then I got wheeled into surgery, and as they say, the rest is history. The next three days are blank for me (aren't drugs wonderful?!), but the next few weeks were a time of deep reflection for me.

One of the things that struck me was this: For years as a pastor I've talked about the conflict between God and Satan taking place against the grand backdrop of the universe. Now it struck me that it not only takes place on that stage, but it takes place on the cellular level as well. My body was the stage on which good and evil would wage war to see who would win. I don't know why that thought had never struck me before, but now it hit me in a way it had never before that sin penetrates and affects us at even the microscopic level.

For now, God has won the battle for my physical body. Should time last long enough, even that battle will be lost. But ultimately, though an occasional battle is lost, God won the war on the cross of Calvary when Jesus gave His life for you and me.

Tomorrow is LiveStrong Day, a day to honor cancer survivors by wearing yellow. I don't have much yellow in my wardrobe, so I'll settle for wearing a LiveStrong bracelet. Would you join me in honoring survivors tomorrow? But even more, wear yellow for yourself, because Jesus died on the cross to wipe out the cancer of sin from this world so that we can all count ourselves as survivors. I don't know about you, but color me yellow!

Lost and Found

This week I had to travel to Lincoln, Nebraska to make a presentation for a group of pastors. I don't always appreciate the trip to Lincoln (roughly 8 hours by car), but this time was different--I got to fly. Spending 55 minutes on a plane as opposed to 8 hours in a car is a no-brainer in my book.

So it was that on Tuesday morning I flew out to Lincoln. I spent the afternoon in my hotel room getting some work done on a wedding service and on a graduation talk. That evening I got to take some of my former students out to dinner and finally closed the evening by going to Starbucks with another former student. All in all, a day well-spent.

Wednesday morning I made my presentation, caught up with some friends, and then headed to the airport to come home in time to celebrate my son-in-law's birthday.

I got to the Lincoln airport and proceeded to check-in. I took out my PDA wallet which held my credit card and driver's license for photo ID purposes. I inserted the credit card in the appropriate slot, followed all the directions on the touch screen and in short order had my boarding pass and my luggage checked.

I still had about 45 minutes before my flight left, so I took the escalator up to a little spot to eat in the airport. There weren't a lot of choices, but it took me a couple of minutes to decide what I wanted. I reached down to take out my PDA wallet so I could pay for my lunch when my stomach suddenly seized up--my wallet wasn't in my carry-on bag. After a brief moment of panic, I realized I must have left it on the check-in counter.

I hurried to the escalator to head downstairs. Slowly (way too slowly in my anxious state!), the escalator made its way downward. As I passed a certain point, I could see the check-in counter from the escalator and I spied my wallet. I hurried off the escalator, and headed to grab my precious wallet and PDA. When I was about 50 feet away I spied a TSA worker who had also spotted my wallet. Just as she reached up to take it, I called out, "Ma'am!" She turned and said, "I was just wondering who this belonged to." She handed my wallet to me and I breathed a sigh of relief.

On reflection, I thought of the story of the lost coin that's found in Luke 15. Luke records three stories that are all somewhat different, yet have a similar theme. The first is about sheep who is lost, knows it, but can't do anything about it. The second is about a coin which has no idea it is lost and is dependent on someone to come find it. The third story is about a son who knows he's lost, can do something about it, and ultimately does.

My wallet didn't know it was lost and couldn't do anything about it. I had to go looking for it. I suspect Jesus told this story because there are a lot of us who are lost and don't even know it, and subsequently are dependent on someone else's help because we don't realize we're in need of help.

Often I suspicion we read this story and apply it to someone else. May I suggest that our very smugness in applying it to someone else demonstrates we're more like the lost coin than we care to admit. Many of us are smugly lost. It doesn't really make any difference how it happens. The end result is the same--we're lost, we don't even realize it, and so we're dependent on someone else to come and find us.

That's why I like these three stories that Jesus told. While the religious elite look down on "the lost," Jesus doesn't waste time, He goes out in search of the lost because they are so valuable to Him. And when He finds the lost, what does He do?

Notice Luke 15:9,10. "And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.' In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

I know how I was feeling about finding my wallet. Now just multiply that by a thousand times and you'll just be scratching the surface about how God feels about you! Am I ever thankful that I have a God who loves me enough to come looking for me when I'm lost.

So let's throw a party! Lost--and found!